Yay!!

I hope you guys aren't sick of hearing about my work out escapades! I can't help it! I am trying to stay motivated and writing stuff out has been helping...

The other thing that is helping... I had a meeting with the trainer at the gym. I haven't lost any lbs., but she measured me and I have lost THREE inches off my waist, 1/2 inch off each: arm, hips and calves, and 1/4 inch off my thighs! WHOO HOO!! I have lost 0.2% body fat - hardly anything, but she said that was expected since I haven't actually lost any lbs. (And I am at least going in the right direction!)

I spoke with her about how my downfall is eating. And how I was bummed there is no nutritionist at The Hartford anymore = and she said I could meet with her on a regular basis to go over nutrition. I can not tell you how happy I was to hear that. I have been thinking about looking into whether insurance would cover visits to a nutirionist. It isn't so much that I don't know: Snickers = not nutritious, green beans = nutritious. But what I need is feedback and someone to be accountable to.

So yeah = I am feeling good! I am going to be able to carry this positive attitude through Thanksgiving. I always do OK with Thanksgiving dinner... but then the desseerts come out and I eat like I am in an eating competition. This year I will pick one favorite and have a small portion. I mean - really... Do I NEED ice cream? I don't even care for ice cream that much... and it is so COMMON... I can get it and have it any time of the year. Now... if Shawn's mom makes some Lemon Meringue Pie... That is a different story.

Priorities

I weighed myself... it is the same. I mean the SAME as 6 weeks ago.

I think it is time to make a decision. Do I want to eat the cupcakes and snickers or do I want to wear skinny pants and cute tops?

Yeah... I can eat cupcakes another day. Today I want skinny pants.

To Do List:
- No more cupcakes or Snickers - in fact, I am banning myself from Karen's candy jar effective immediately.
- Strength training AT LEAST twice a week (three would be best!) no matter what
- Veggies EVERY day
- NO snacking in the evening (I do not need that whole bag of microwavable popcorn... the carbs, the salt) If I do want to snack, I think I am going to keep some raw broccolli on hand with some of that fat free dip I made with that nasty FF cottage cheese that came out really tastey.

Oh crap! Look at the time - I have to go to the gym.

Crap in = Crap out

I have been a little discouraged for the last week or so. Yeah, I HAD been feeling great, but then I started feeling NOT great. I screwed up my BCP's. Then I screwed up the supplement that I have been taking that is supposed to help my mood. So I did a lot of running, alone, on the treadmill last week (instead of taking classes).

Then over the weekend, I proceeded to eat crap, drink crap, eat more crap... leaving me to FEEL like crap while trying to work out today. My face was red, my throat was dry, my lips are chapped. I wanted to die... well, not really, I just wanted to lay down and take a nap on the gym floor.

But anyways.... I am going to re-hydrate. I am going to keep working out. I am still going to eat crap on occassion, but I am going to TRY to limit it to ONE meal of crap per week. And I am just going to try to squeeze in more veggies everyday.

WHY does it require so much effort to feel good? I mean the work that goes into feeling good is definitely easier than sitting around feeling like a fat piece of crap... but still... sometimes I wish that JUST ONE thing, on occassion, could just be a little bit easy.

OK... back to my gala apple and Non-Fat Greek yogurt.

Hormones

The hormones are definately kicking in. I haven't really had PMS since going on the pill. Real PMS. The kind where you want to literally shoot daggers out of your eyes and slay people. Boy does this feel shitty. I got irrationally pissed off at a hair tye. A hair tye! I feel so sorry for Frank right now. I am not going to be fun for the next 4 days.

Inspired

I had a phyiscal a month ago. I had my yearly this morning. Both docs advised me to start exercising and drop weight. (Also, btw, I am not as tall as I thought I was. Am I shrinking already or do I have a permanent computer hunch?) So I really need to do something. I need to get inspired. Only issue, how do I do that?

I really liked the nights we met at school tracks and ran/walked because it combined social gabbing with exercise, but that's really hard to do with everyone's schedules and how dark it gets early now. Maybe I should look into joining a running group. Maybe I just need to get off the couch and stop finding reasons to stay put.

So, I am stopping drinking soda (again). For real this time. I am stopping my DD or BK breakfast sandwich addiction. (more $$ in my pocket!) I am going to set the alarm earlier, though I think that may be the first thing to fail. I am going to try to walk around the neighborhood every night. And if I do fail, I promise to start back up again and not just give up.

From my Cubie to my Car

Just sitting here thinking about how far I have to walk to get to my car (in the dark) is exhausting me. Lol! Here is my journey from my warm cozy cubicle to my cold car:

I walk from my cubicle, down the hall to the elevator.
I ride the elevator to the Lower Lobby.
I walk through the Lobby.
I walk past the auditorium and through the funny tunnel.
Say good night as I pass that nice man.
I walk past the cafeteria.
I go through the doorway and walk up a large flight of stairs.
I go out the entrance and down the sidewalk (past the visitor's parking lot).
I cross the street.
I walk past another building/parking lot.
I cross another street.
I then FINALLY arrive safely at my car in the parking lot to start my car and race home as fast as possible.

;o)

Sh!t or get off the pot... Then go weigh yourself

For THREE WEEKS I have been eating better (not perfect every second, but I eat veggies everyday, cook dinner in the evenings, etc.) and I have been working out (at LEAST 4 times a week, but I am trying to do 5 or 6). And how much have a lost in those three weeks... ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. That scale is set at it's number and it is sticking with it. I mean, down to the .6 of a lb. I mean come on- things going in... things coming out... time of the month... my weight should fluctuate from day to day at least a BIT.

Nope. Nothing. NADA. Zilch.

But... then I start to think... So what? I mean, really - am I discouraged? One might think I should be, but I am not. Why you wonder? Because I FEEL good. I hardly ever get heartburn any more. I feel strong. My moods have leveled out. AND I am saving money by not buying crap on the weekends for "Fat Sunday".

Even if I never lose a single tenth of a pound, I FEEL GOOD and THAT is what matters the most.

I love my friends

This is just a love note to you girls. I had a wonderful time at Connie's house with you on Saturday night. I am not a great caller or emailer, often just doing my own thing, and after too many weekends like that I start to feel so distant from you guys. This past weekend was a great reminder of why I like hanging out with you, and how we are still in touch with each other even when we are all too busy to hang out all the time.

PS. Sarah, I'd love to hang out with you soon, hear about work & Daisy & the new house.

Diet Overhaul

All I have to say is... Baba Ganoush is DISGUSTING and Fat Free Cottage Cheese is pretty nasty, too.

BUT I have discovered that Voila frozen bag dinners are easy, convenient and healthy. Chipotle hummus is the SCRUMPTIOUS. Egg white omlets with bits of veggies and 1/4 C. of cheddar cheese is actually quite satisfying.

Today is my appointment at the gym where I will have my body fat % measured... I am dying to know what it is... and once I do, I am sure I will be dying to forget it!

This month's issue of Fitness magazine has a bunch of healthy, low cal, low fat soup recipes. I am planning to try a few in the very near future. One recipe has little turkey meatballs in it.

This is the fatest I will ever be from here on out

I will never be this fat again. That's right, I will be losing weight and getting into shape. I am hoping to have some noticable changes in my body by the holidays.

I meant with the nutritionist this morning. I thought - heh, I know it all. I need to eat more veggies. I am sure I won't learn anything new. But I actually DID learn new things. I have a follow up appointment in two weeks.

Then I headed over to the gym for a "Box 'n' Burn" class. After that I had a meeting to go over my work out schedule. I want to get some strength training into my "routine". But because I had just worked out and showered and changed back into my work clothes, she couldn't do any measurements and my BP was high from just working out - so I have another appointment with her next week (Thursday) and she will take my fat %, test my flexibility, endurance, etc. She is going to show me how to properly do lunges and squats (I hurt my knee yesterday and she says that people commonly hurt their knees from doing lunges and squats incorrectly). Then we we go over a strength training routine for me! Whoo hoo!

I am feeling VERY positive about all this. THANK GOD my work has all this stuff. If I couldn't do these things on my lunch break, I wouldn't be able to squeeze them in! The nutritionist is free to employees. I have to pay for the gym, but meeting to set up an exercise routine is included in my membership. I am also going to enter the contest for 8 weeks of free personal training (wish me luck on that!!).

Hmmm... Maybe I should take a before picture??

Hou$e

Crap. Frankie called to say we need a new roof. A whole roof!

Frank knew our flashing and gutters were installed wrong - that became evident last winter. So he's been planning on redo-ing the fascia board and soffits since then. Our soffits are not vented correctly either, btw. Well, he's been reluctant to get started on the project because it seemed so huge. So, we agreed to get some quotes. A gutter company we found at the Hebron Fair came over on Tues. and gave us a quote to fix the soffits and install their fancy gutters. It was reasonable. For comparison's sake, we called a roofer too. The roofer just met with Frank and pointed out that our roof wasn't put on correctly either. The plywood sheathing is starting to buckle from moisture - the original issue was ice damning that blocks up the gutters and forces water up under the eaves - so that should really be replaced. The whole roof should be pulled up, anything rotting replaced, and ice membrane installed (we have none now) and all flashing installed, then the roof put back on. The soffits rebuilt and properly vented, the drip edge (we don't have one now) installed, and then the gutters put on correctly. Whew.

We will never have money. I should not have gotten a new car. We will never get a new shed. Being a homeowner is just so disappointing. I thought we got a good house. I thought the home inspector would point out crap like this. As it turns out, the previous homeowner mickey-moused everything!

Grrrr.

trainer

I've had 4 real sessions with my trainer. 3 in the last two weeks.

O...M....G....

I already feel a little different, not that it's visible, but I...love....it...
I love the challenge, mental and physical. i love the trainer who wants to push me, who wants to see me succeed.

He wants to show my how to punch for real, invest in the gloves and wraps and everything. i think i'll do it.

After yesterday's workout, he asked if my fiance appreciated what i was doing there. And I SHOULD have said...I appreciate it. ME. I'm doing this for me. and it's already very positively affected my confidence. I'm pumped! Trainer is curious to meet Eric. He says a lot of the tough girls he sees, the guys, aren't as tough. I think i actually impress the unimpressable trainer. He had a huge smile on his face when i finished the "300"....which....by the way...is the type of workouts (not on the same level, of course!) that the tasty men in the movie 300 did to get in shape. I can see how it worked.

I'm even getting into protein shakes and amino acid supplements. serious business. now...my biggest challenge, is the weekend. UConn football tailgating. dinner for Theresa's birthday. possibly the Big E. How will i get through all of that w/o drinking too much or eating like a big fatty? ~sigh~ Well, i guess I'll just think about the food diary i told the trainer i would keep, and hope that keeps me on the straight and narrow-ish.

Gym Day #5

OH YEAH! I could SERIOUSLY use a nap right about now... These classes at the gym have been kicking my @$$. But I am certain that as I stick with it, it will get easier pretty fast.

Of course, now I am hungry and the Quinoa that I brought just does NOT sound like enough...

Gym Day #3

~whimper~

Gym Day #1

So - I started at the gym today. The gym at work had a deal going on - 10 visits for $10. I thought that would be a great way to try it out and see if I can get it to fit into my schedule! Today, I took a class - "Tone Boxing". I had a hard time keeping up - which, I knew I would since I have not been exercising lately. But I totally LOVED it. It was nice to get away from my desk and then come back revived and ready to tackle my afternoon!

I weighed myself this morning... It was bad. I have gained quite a bit. But that is OK. My goal is to lose 60 lbs in the next year - give or take. I was losing 0.8 lbs a week b/f I got PG... I would be happy to go back to that rate. It was totally do-able.

WARNING: NO BOYS ALLOWED!!!!!!

My Dress...i think....

http://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic519880-13-1.aspx#bm524053

For those who don't know, the swatch I picked up for the first dress I wanted ended up being a very icky color. This one however, I think will by juuust right :)

CNG

I paid my late CNG bill twice in July, so that means I paid 4 months worth of gas bills at once. SWEET! Now I can afford the $60 for the first 15 minutes and $28 every additional 15 minutes that it will cost to have my furnace inspected and cleaned in September :-/

I am very much looking forward to the party this weekend and LDW...woot woot!

I give up...

I was trying to add pictures from this weekend, but I can only seem to get one picture to upload. Oh well... Here is a cute profile picutre of Logan!!

Good and Bad, but now mostly good.

My b-day was last week and all we did was stay in and order pizza, and it was glorious.

Friday into the weekend, I had the worst work experience in my life. But it's been resolved and the issues that exist on our end have been identified and are (hopefully) being handled on an agency wide level now.

But beyond that, Eric got me a gym membership for my birthday and it came with a fitness evaluation with a personal trainer. The guy was AWESOME, and I had a really fun, motivating workout with him...and he liked working with me so much that he gave me 2 sessions a week (for a year! EEK!) for $20 more a month than just once a week. So basically I'm paying $25 bucks a session when it's normally 40 - 45! PLUS he waived the $99 sign-up fee. And he asked me to write him a testimonial before i start, after 3 months, after 6 months and at 12 months. i am SO excited!!!

i also mentioned my thoughts about being a trainer at some point and he was all excited and said that if that was something i was interested in down the road that he would definitely talk to me about it because he thinks i would be great at it :) YAY!

So i go again tomorrow for my first real session then really start cranking when i come back from camping this weekend in Saratoga. YAAAY!

Now, i'll just have to quit my expensive haircuts, highlights and facials in order to pay for the fitness trainer! ~gulp~

Things I Find Therapeutic

1. Coffee with the Girls
2. Chatting with friends, family or hubby over a bottle or two of wine
3. Roaming the craft store
4. Puzzle Books (like Sudoku)
5. Journaling
6. Going to the Movies
7. Reading novels
8. Doing things Outside
9. Sitting on the dock at The Lake
10. Labor Day Weekend at The Lake
11. Exercise (the part when I am all done)
12. Returning things to the store that I bought but didn't really need
13. Throwing things away
14. Breaking things so I can then throw them away
15. A Day at the Spa (HA! Who WOULDN'T find that therapeutic??)
16. Spendging time alone
17. Spending unlimited time in a book store
18. That FIRST beer at a bar (on tap - not from a bottle)
19. Finding that other people have problems, too and not everyone is happy all the time
20. Having a stupendous support group of friends and family
21. Doing something new with Logan (ex. watching his expression as he tries a new food, giving him a new toy and watching him study it for HOURS)
22. Doing Crafts!
23. Snuggling with my Hubby
24. "Sleeping" in when Logan let's us
25. Not having to wake up to an alarm clock anymore
26. Reading about things on the internet
27. Swimming
28. Sitting back and watching all my friends laughing and enjoying each other's company
29. Seeing a flower that I planted in my yard bloom (this doesn't happen very often! Lol!)
30. Having a productive day - either at home or at work

Retraction

Ok, so in the post I deleted I was very upset with my dental insurance snafu and blamed the wrong person. The benefits lady we used to have wasn't the greatest and I assumed it was her fault. She actually did send in the information of my benefits upgrade to the insurance company - she just didn't follow up afterwards to make sure it processed correctly, and the insurance company made the mistake. I apologize.

Sunshine-y & Sh*t

I am having a good feelings day. I'm all sunshine-y. So if you are in a bad mood, just ignore this post. I am just feeling really connected to my hubby and my friends. I know I don't get to see you all very much, but I was really happy to be able to see Kate, Mike, Sarah, Jay, Sher & Shawn this weekend. It was all very chill - but exactly what I needed. And I'm amazed by the families that are being created in my circle of friends. It was very cool to meet little Mike and see another new family begin.

BS Friday

Today is Bullsh!t Friday. That is what me and my co-worker have deemed today. We have a half year, self-assessment due today. I am (obviously) procrastinating. Not only am I a terrible writer, I also suck at BS. And lets face it, that's all that self-assessments are.

The biggest problem I am having is - wtf am I supposed to write? (Once I get started on soemthing - I will be good to go.) I can not put my true career goal down in writing for my bosses to see. What is my true career goal, you ask? To work part time for full time pay. That is it. That is all I want out of my career. That is why I went to grad school. Every time someone asked me what my reasoning was for going back to school... that is what I wanted to tell them.

But no... I have to talk about all that I have accomplished so far this year and what I plan to accomplish for the second half of the year. I get to blabber about financial controls and customer service. I have to say good things about myself while all I really do is pat myself on the back each day just for making it into work and functioning.

It's Friday and all I really care about is that I get to go home and spend the weekend with Shawn and Logan. The rest of it all seems so insignificant.

Nothing to Say

I have nothing to blog about... yet I am blogging anyways!

Nothing is new. Same old, same old. Now that Amy and Eric's engagement party is over, I plan to spend the rest of the summer doing what ever I feel like when I feel like. This weekend, Shawn and I are going to try to start cleaning up the back yard around the firepit. We want to lay the slate we have around the fire pit, but as Shawn pointed out, that is going to be a lot of work. The ground is really lumpy and bumpy, so we will have to try to level it a bit first. Guess I will be getting out my metal rakey thing and using my arm muscles!! This is all assuming that it doesn't rain all weekend... I feel like we live in FL. WTF?

Everything Costs Too Much

So Frank and I were gifted with a free car. His folks just got a new Subaru and transferred the '99 Camry to us. Only, it's not really working out for us. It needs a little more work than we thought, and has a funky smell. (like dog and perfume mixed) I actually like my old Focus better. Which, in a way is good, cuz we put money into it last year and can run it into the ground if need be. But that leaves us with what to do with the Camry. Do his folks want it back? Do they want to sell it for $? Can we sell it for $? Are we going to totally insult his dad?

And now it's got us considering a new car, so we don't know if we should go out and look for one or just stick with the status quo. Status quo is cheaper right now, but we will need another car at some point. So should we wait? Cuz in the near future we are also going to have a baby. So then we'll have car payments and childcare. Oh, yeah, and I'm getting braces. I'm sick of my teeth not lining up and my jaw popping. So that's gonna be about a year and a half and $6000.

The cost of this car is so much more than "free"...

On Being a Baby Momma

I am having a rough day today. I got up late, dawdled with feeding Logan and putting away his clean clothes, showering and getting to work... I didn't make it until 10. Yuck. Now I am disappointed in myself. Disappointed and stressed out about not being able to do better. How do other women do it? How do they make it to work ON TIME everyday, work eight hours and then head home to feed baby and complete household chores?

I struggle daily trying to squeeze everything in. Getting to work, going grocery shopping, getting gas, buying clothes as needed for me, Shawn, and Logan. I am trying to jog and get in shape... and every once in a while, I like to eat dinner. (you know, something other than mac 'n' cheese or sammiches)

I don't feel like I get to spend enough time with Logan. I always feel like I am rushing everywhere to get errands done, which leaves me feeling frassled. I would like to jog four or five times a week, but can only manage three. The house has crossed the line from untidy to down right dirty. And emotionally, I have spent the last week feeling like I am on the verge of tears.

Sorry - Jeannine - please don't be scared of having babies. Logan has brought me a tremendous amount of joy but DAMN I really wish I could work some days from home. I wish I could afford to pay someone to clean my house. I wish I had time each day to relax.

Speaking of babies...

Excited for Kate....

I can't wait to get the news that Kate & Mike are parents. I've been searching Facebook for updates all weekend. I need to give Mike a call. I'm very eager to meet the new little guy and for Kate to feel better - tired & cranky, yes, but not huge and uncomfortable.

JEANS

I am fitting, not too comfortably, but not too uncomfortably, into my bigger skinny jeans. My skinny-skinny jeans are still too little...but...I am getting there...
It is not as easy as it used to be.

I'm not going to make it... ZZzzz...

I would just like to take this opportunity to WHINE a little... I am so FREAKING tired.

First things first - 4th of July weekend was AWESOME. I was able to get chores done around the house on Friday with Logan while Shawn helped Jay move. Saturday we went up to the lake. The weekend was glorious and we even got Logan into the lake on Sunday. He did SO well! (pitures to follow)

Ok - now for the whining. Monday night was our first Wickham park run. I actually didn't do TOO bad (even though I was very last). But I have been SO sore ever since. I took some percocet last night, thinking it would knock me out and take the edge of of my entire aching body, sore muscles, achy joints, etc. Well... I felt good for a little while... But we are trying to wean Logan off of his middle of the night bottle. I know this will be great when he is sleeping through the night, but right now it is a little hard trying to help him learn to fall asleep on his own. I went in at one point last night and he was hugging his teddy bear... it was the darn cutest thing I ever saw!

Anyways... I am sore, achy, tired, and I don't feel like getting up to make myself coffee - but I could really use the caffiene.

Thank you... I am done now.

Happy Fourth!

Hi Girls,

I hope everyone enjoyed the amazingly non-rainy weekend weather. I loved the weekend. I spent a lot of Friday and Saturday cleaning the house, but it was nice to do with all the windows open and it really needed it. Saturday night we had some people over to hang out around the fire pit - first of the season - and stayed up late. Sunday the whole family was over just munching and running around the backyard. I was so happy Jer & Aiden came over. Nicole wasn't feeling well, so we sent some chocolate cake home with Jer to cheer her up.

Yay for Harley's and Lakes and Fire Pits!

Speaking of Dreams...

I was having weird dreams last night... one included Logan - he had learned to walk. It was sort of a creepy dream. But anyways - the dream that really got me was one with tornados. There were tornados everywhere. I was outside (it was my house - but it wasn't = know what I mean?) and Connie was outside. I think she had a hold of Logan... or maybe it was RJ? But I was like - "we have to go inside NOW!" and as I looked around, there were tornados EVERYWHERE. Then when we got inside - I didn't know where was the safest place to be.

So, I google dream interpretations and looked up tornados... I found many different definitions. The first one described being caught in a tornado vs. seeing a tornado vs. multiple...

"To see several tornadoes in your dream, represent people around you who are prone to violent outbursts and shifting mood swings. It may also symbolize a volatile situation or relationship."

The next web site said: "If you dream that ... you are in danger from a tornado, then you will find all your well laid business plans come to naught and failure will dog your footsteps until you do something to change your chances of success; more education, better training or so forth."

Then: "An overwhelming or destructive situation in real life, most likely out of the dreamer's control. A feeling or fear of being taken advantage of or victimized, especially suddenly or in an unpredictable way"

And lastly (my favorite) when I typed in the keyword 'tornado', I got this:

Tornado
(See Armageddon)


So no matter which one you pick... it doesn't sound good...

Stuff and things

First, I have to say that hanging out at Jay's house Tuesday night was fantastic. Watching a close thunderstorm from the Gazebo...I am a big fan :) The house is big. I have house envy ;)

Second, I had a dream last night that I found a red dress...and ordered it, and the wrong one came in. Then, the wedding was fast approaching, so I ordered another one, and it came in the day OF the wedding, and was NOT even a wedding dress!!! I was SO horrified and SO upset that I could NOT wear my red dress that I did not want to wear a wedding dress at all. I'm thinking...that that means...I am leaning towards the red dress for sure. I was unsure after trying on some beautiful ivory/white ones. And really my only fear was not feeling like a "bride," but I AM the bride, i will FEEL like the bride, and i will feel pretty.

:)

And third, I am looking forward to taking off on the Harley this weekend with no major plans. It will be soo...awesome. I hope everyone else has an awesome weekend planned!

Okay, ta ta for now.

Thunder, Lightening, and a Jacuzzi

I just want you all to know... that even if there is thunder and lightening tomorrow evening - I will still be sitting in Connie's jacuzzi.

That is all.

Thank you.

What do you guys think?

I'm on the look out for a red gown, and probably not going to find one. I spoke with a woman at one shop (after calling several who do not carry them) who was very nice and up front with me. She said each dress is an investment for the boutique, and though they can order one, they wouldn't carry one because it probably wouldn't sell. Which makes a lot of sense. But now, I am not sure what to do. I can maybe find a big red formal dress that's not a wedding gown to try on and see how I feel in it??? I felt so pretty in some of the off-white and white dresses that...it's definitely going to be a tough choice to make.

hmmmm....

The Honeymoon's Over...

But not in that way. Frankie and I are still in love and getting along. It's just that we're back to CT, back to work, and back to routine. Which, by the way, is not so bad. It's nice to be home again and I can't wait to see everyone. I hope you all had a good time while we were away - I think Aim & Sher went to the lake, which must always be good, even with crummy weather.

We had my family over on Saturday for a cookout, and of course it started raining just as all the burgers were cooked and we sat down to eat. Figures. Sunday we went couch shopping (we finally ordered one!) and then to Frank's parents' house for Fathers Day. Baked chicken, potatoes, gravy, brocolli, and cake, YUM. So we told the fams all about the trip and had a relaxing weekend.

I think this coming weekend we're having a girlie day? I need to call Connie...

A shift in priorities

How ironic. Sometimes I think of things at very – appropriate - times.

I’ve been in my current position for three years, I love it. I love the company, my coworkers, the work I do, the successes I have amassed, and the experience and experiences I have gained.

In the last year, my life has gone through a bit of a redesign. I have found companionship, love and joy and have started planning a wedding. With that comes the comfort that I have a constant anchor, a point of reference from which I will view the rest of my life. It sounds like something that might unnerve some people, in particular the younger me. However, without a center, I tend to float away from those I care about, and lose sight of the person I strive to become.

Having found my anchor, the one who will enjoy life along side me, I feel freed from uncertainty and able to explore what other desires in my life I can consider fulfilling. As long as those desires benefit my life and my family, I feel I can investigate a professional shift that will tie more closely to my personal satisfaction, capitalizing even more on my personal strengths.

The thoughts I recently had were geared towards entrepreneurialship. I’d love to own a pub, a place where I could both work and relax. Though I do consider drinking beer one of my personal strengths, I’m leaning towards the thinking that restaurant/bar ownership is out of my league, and while providing a great hangout for me and my friends, I would be exposed to the very challenging and stressful side of a business in the food and beverage industry. Not quite what I am going for.

So I mentioned to Sherri one day that would like to own a business and asked her what kind of business I should start? She supplied a list of activities she knows I am interested in and suggested I start with something I enjoy. Among the activities was fitness. I played sports in high school and try to lead a physically active life, though I have some down falls in the eating and drinking category.

I was thinking about what the benefits and drawbacks would be of becoming a personal trainer. And what I could do with my certification. One train of thought headed directly towards owning a spa/studio someday to get Mom’s back in fighting form, physically and aesthetically.

To get there, I would go to school to receive training and become certified. Begin working part-time at a gym or health club while working full time where I am, and take it from there. Whether I stick with a gym or head out on my own with my own book of clients, I hope that someday, I could help moms who recognize the positive mental and physical affects of being fit, but who have little time and drive to get there.

Pullin' the Rip Cord

I have discovered that being a working mom is very hard. It is hard to cram everything I need and want to do into each day. Eating healthy and exercising has fallen to the side and I have been grabbing what is convenient and comforting for dinner (bad Sherri!). Needless to say - I have gained a few lbs. I know, not because I have weighed myself (which I haven't) but because my clothes are snug. Not so snug that they don't fit, but snug enough to remind me through out the day that it is time to back away from the munchie-snacks-alcohol-cheese-covered-god-knows-what-that-was-I-just-ate crap.

To be quite honest, right now exercising and losing weight is just NOT a priority. I am focused on getting to work everyday, keeping the dishes and laundry clean, and spending as much time as I can with Logan. I have realized that I am comfortable in my body. I love myself - I enjoy picking out clothes that look nice even on my over-weight body. I am just not going to beat myself up and force myself into losing weight right now jsut because I am "supposed to"...

With that being said... I also DO NOT WANT TO PULL THE RIP CORD. At the VERY LEAST, I would like to maintain... So I am backing off a bit (not totally!) from the yummy goodies. I should maybe not have a drink EVERY day. And I think I am going to pick just ONE thing to focus on: my abs.

I am going to JUST focus on doing some ab work. Like I have done with things before, I will give it six weeks and if I don't notice a difference, I will quit!! (the secret being - I have never done anything for six weeks and NOT noticed a difference, but it feels good to give myself an "out".)

That is my plan...

A perfect day for a wedding

The weather is going to be nearly 80 degrees, dry and sunny. Sounds like a perfect day for a wedding to me. Though I can't imagine all the excitement the bride and groom are feeling right now, I know it will be a gorgeous day, and a gorgeous wedding. Tee hee! I can't wait! Okay...now I have to go get ready :)

GOOD LUCK JEANNINE!

Today is as Good a Day as Any!

As I left my work today
I saw him sitting on the ground
No words to me did he say
Just stood and looked around

He looked a little bit dazed
And even more confused
He thought his mother must be crazed
To make him feel so abused

He was sitting very happily
He was feeling quite content
Until she pushed him from the tree
Without any sentiment

The ground rose up to meet him
Was it time to say good-bye?
His future began to look quite dim
He thought he might begin to cry

He made it to the ground just fine
He made it in one piece
His mom said, "Son of mine
You must try this again for me

As now the time has come, you see
There is none better than today
To learn to glide and soar so free
It's time for you to fly away!"

Starting to Freak Out

So I'm starting to freak out. I have left waaaaay too much to the last minute. I'm all nervous and agitated about it. Blech. I don't like that feeling. We may not have wedding party favors... Would people be pissed?

We met with the JP last night and went over the words - it's gonna be 10 and done, I think. Don't blink or you'll miss it. Tomorrow I meet with the florist one more time. I've emailed back and forth with the Photog, but the DJ is MIA! I have emailed and faxed and tonight that guy gets a phone call! I don't care if I'm being the silly bride!

And thank you all for letting me talk about this all the time. =)

e.l.f. and other CHEAP crap

I LOVE CHEAP STUFF. I went to Old Navy this past weekend and raped the clearance rack - I bought Logan over a dozen shirts that should fit him next winter - at $0.97 a piece!! WHOO HOO!! (Remind me to tell you guys later about the woman with the screaming/whining kid!)

OK - now I have to tell you about my e.l.f. makeup! I ordered it on the 11th. It shipped on the 15th. And I received it all yesterday - the 20th. I was excited to hear about a website that sold their makeup for $1. But then - I was REALLY excited to see they had mineral makeup (it was a little more money at about $3 to $5 a piece - but still DIRT cheap compared to the other mineral stuff that's out there). So I tried it all out this morning...

I did buy $1 mascara - both the balck and the brown... It went on nice this morning, but I can tell after a couple of times opening the tube, it will be dry and clumpy. (I think I will be sticking with my trusty old maybeline lash curling stuff... they do still make that, right?) And my eyes are starting to drive me nuts after over eight hours of wearing it.

The $1 brushes I bought - so far I have only tried the eye show brush... I would say it was a good buy! Not GREAT, but good.

I accidentally bought (2) tubes of mineral lipstick in the same color (boo!) - I THINK I was trying to order two colors - oh well. When I first opened the tube - I was like "this doesn't look like PLUM!" It looked more brownish... (something I would not have purchased if I had been able to look at in person, first) but once I put it on, I realized that the color is PERFECT and I am glad that I have two tubes (It is SO HARD to find good oclors of listick!). It glides on really nice. It doesn't stay on any better than any other lipstick - but I was pleased that it did NOT get gooey or look funny as it wore off = it just sort of faded off (if that makes sense).

The eyeshadow and blush went on nicely - I feel like I am not wearing anything (although the color I picked to wear today may have been a little darker than I prefer - it would prolly be good for night time - I have two other colors to try which will probably be good day time colors). The blush was very suttle, which is what I was going for. (I HATE feeling like I am wearing clown makeup!)

Their free gift to me for giving them three email addresses was a tube of their lip gloss - cherry bomb flavor or some such crap. The color is fine - but the smell is disgusting. (glad it was free!)

SO, IN SUMMARY - the mineral stuff seems great! I am very pleased with my purchase, but I will probably be dumping the cheap mascara and the cherry ass flavored lip gloss!!

Home (aaahhhhhh.)

It felt so nice to be home last night. I love travelling, but it makes home so much more comforting. Frank and I unpacked everything last night, did lots of laundry, and started cleaning the house. Frank vacuumed the basement & kitchen. I mopped the kitchen and bath. All clothes are put away. We went over the type-up of our wedding ceremony and redlined what we didn't like and mailed that back to the JP. We are hoping to meet up with him again this weekend. I like being productive. I just wish I had more energy to do it!

-- Jeannine

Busy, busy, busy!!

That was my weekend!!
Friday night was awesome - Shawn and I got to go out and see a movie sans baby while Amy watched Logan! Star Trek was excellent - btw!! I look forward to doing it again!

Picnicing with the Kustan's was awesome! It stayed sunny enough that we were able to sit outside and enjoy the weather. My baked crab rangoons and oreo balls were a big hit!

Jay, Sarah and MaryKay came over to see Logan. Jay shared the wonderful new with us that he is buying a house in Stafford! He and Sarah will be living about 8.3 miles from us!!

Sunday I did a little shopping in Manchester before I went to see my Aunt. I bought a dozen or so shirts for Logan for next winter for 97 cents a piece at Old Navy!! (Yay! Clearance!) And I bought FOUR Rum Runner buckets at Xmas Tree Shop for $1.50 a piece!! (Yay! Clearance!!)

Then I had an awesome afternoon visiting with my aunt and my cousin and my grandad!

Now I am eagerly awaiting the end of the work day so that I can go home and crash out on my couch with my babycakes!

Weekends

How was everyone's weekend?

Mine started early - Friday at 4 am. Yes, 4 am. You know I'm not a morning person. Frank was worried about getting to MD before 4 pm and I didn't speak to him for the first hour. As it turns out, he was a good planner - it took us 8 hours to get down there. We stopped for several bathroom/stretch breaks and took an hour lunch. Plus we had to backtrack and navigate around a highway shut-down.

The wedding location was beautiful, rehearsal dinner was yum, and the actual wedding was lots of fun. I so enjoyed seeing Christine again - she hasn't changed - and was happy to be a part of it. I danced (my legs hurt) and Frank joined in for the slow ones. The rain held off till dinner (yay!) and we had a leisurely brunch on Sunday morning.

It has got me in full wedding mode, so I am eager to get the seating settled, create placecards, and list out some photos and songs...

-- Jeannine

HA!! HA HAHA!! I love this site

I love this web site:

http://www.everydaypeoplecartoons.com/index.php


Here are my favs.:

Butterflies

I am going to try to feed butterflies in my garden this year... Wish me luck. The interenet says I can put out over ripe fruit for them...

First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage...

Then comes a very tired Sherri and Shawn. I can't wait until you guys are are tired as we are... hee hee hee...

Logan actually did very well last night - went to bed at 8, woke up at 2 for a bottle, then slept until 6:30! Halleluha!!

Erin, her mom, and her sister are coming over for a little picnic on Saturday... So I need to go shopping tonight to get some food and some booze. I then need to finish cleaning the house. Tomorrow is Random Thursday... So far it appears to be me, Amy, and Rachael. Friday night Amy is babysitting Logan while Shawn and I go to the movies to see Star Trek. After Erin and her fam are coming early in the afternoon - then later on Saturday, Jay, his step-mom and Sarah are coming over to see Logan. Sunday I am going to my Aunt's house - she hasn't seen Logan in a while. At some point I need to scrape loose paint off my house and dig in my yard some more.

Looks like I have a full calender!!

Wedding Hair

I had the dry run for wedding hair last night. It went really well. I'm not doing anything fancy or out of the oridinary - lots of curls piled on top of my head. The florist is going to have some fresh flowers to pin in my hair. Karen, Frank's sister, met me at the salon and figured out what she'll do for her hair. She was very shy when we first met, but she's really opened up and it's great.

-- jeannine

Pretty Flowers!!

Planning Bug is back

Welp, it's been a few weeks since I booked the wedding venue. I'm ready to do something ELSE for the wedding now. I talked to my hairdresser today about doing hair, but she can't even book it til NEXT May. Oh well.

I was planning on looking into the airbrush makeup for the wedding, but then I heard from a vendor from the Cromwell bridal show, and I won free wedding-day makeup! so...hmm...I need to call them back to get details about that. :)

I also want to reserve the hotel (Avon Old Farms) so that I can make sure I have transportation for everyone between the hotel and the wedding (usually the hotel can only handle one event a day...and I want to be sure it's mine!). But i also want a block of rooms for the night before, but I don't know if I need 4 rooms or 10 rooms. ~sigh~

I'm sure I'll figure it all out. Hope everyone's day is going peachy!

New DO!

A Good Day for Some Pictures

eek!

http://www.newport-news.com/shop/category_splash.aspx?swim-build-your-own-bikini&gp_coll_id=2012&gp_cat_id=7505&gp_fashcoll_id=7514

loved the weekend

Hiya Girls,

I had a really fun Friday night with Aim & Sher. Lots of cheesy goodness, and some fried ice cream. (it was totally worth it)

I couldn't believe the weather yesterday for Mom's day. We had Frank's immediate family over plus my mom, and spent the afternoon on the deck. The back yard is so open now with the tree down and all the debris has finally been stacked. All we have to do is break down the small tinder. We grilled up some corn, had lots of salads, and feasted on lobsters. Both moms got to bring some tails and claws home too.

I hope you all had wonderful Mom's days - esp. Kate, Connie & Sherri!

-- jeannine

Private Practice

DO ANY OF YOU EVER WATCH PRIVATE PRACTICE!?!?!?! I have been "taping" it and watching it at my leisure. It is such a girly show, I love to relax and enjoy a glass of wine and watch it when Shawn isn't around. Last night, Shawn ran out to pick up Rick & Connie's power washer (we are borrowing that for this weekend... getting ready to paint the house and stain the deck). While he was gone, Logan feel asleep nice and early (6:20) so I was left alone to do as I pleased. I decided to catch up on my TV.

Well, I watched last weeks episode of PP and when it ended - I HAD to know when the next episode is, b/c I didn't think I could stand to wait to see it... DUH, then I realized - that was the season finale and I have to wait for MONTHS to see what happens.

While poking around online, I was reading what some people were saying on the forum for the show. Some people are so "offended" that they claim they will never watch it again... WHAT?!? I don't even understand how or why anyone would take "offense" to the plotline of a TV show. I mean jeez... don't be such a p^$$y.

I just don't think I can make it... I can't wait until the fall... it is TOO FAR AWAY.

Damn cliffhangers...

Brain = Mush

I am so looking forward to the weekend. I am so looking forward to tonight. Sigh. I need some free time but have none. I have been super busy at work, took on a new responsibility, and feel like I just can't focus on anything. Words are not coming out of my mouth in the order I expect. I am so scattered! I need to get wedding stuff settled. I can't wait for June!

-- Jeannine

Gravity is heaviest on Thursdays

YAY! One more month until Jeannine's wedding! It is getting very close, though I’m sure she doesn't need reminding. It will be a beautiful day. Sherri and I are here if you need a hand with favors, Jeannine!

I'm looking forward to a good weekend. Friday night will be very enjoyable and relaxing, hanging out with the bride-to-be, jibber jabbering and imbibing in libations. =D

Saturday I must be at Tire City in East Hartford at 7:15 to 7:30 to be first in line to get my summer tires bought and put on. Then I'd like to work out. Then I'd like to work on the outside of the condo with Eric, particularly getting the deck in shape for summertime. Then it's off to Trumbull Kitchen with Eric, Rachael, and Heather and Andy Brindisi for dinner before we head to the Bushnell to see the Phantom of the Opera. I saw it once when I was 14 and am really looking forward to seeing it again.
=======
Today is a bit gloomy and so I had a tough time getting out of bed, was about 30 minutes late to work, but didn't mind too much, because the boss is out today and tomorrow. Not to take advantage, but I'll take it where I can get it.

I also have a Dr's appointment at 1 today alll the way back in Vernon to get my Thyroid Nodule poked at. Fun fun. At least it will break up the day.

Hope the weather clears up so that I can randomly show up at sherri's for random thursday while eric goes and plays golf and THEN softball.

Okay, tah tah for now.

4:40am Torture, Prancing and Vanilla in my Coffee

I have been up since about 4:40 - give or take. To be awakened for the day at that god aweful hour is just plain torture. Logan woke up, ate a little and dozed off... which is what he usually does at about 4 - 4:40 am. But then, when I tried to put him back in his crib, he decided that what he really wanted was to get up and start his day. I tried to disagree with him... but in the end, he won.

Getting up that early does have it's advantages - I was able to get some stuff done. I picked up Logans room and made the bunk beds (something I have been meaning to do for three months now). It only made me realize that we are in desparate need of new twin sheets.

Then, as I was making my breakfast and gatehring my lunch and snacks together for the day, I caught some movement in our yard out of the corner of my eye. At first I thought there was a dog running around in our yard - but then I realized, it was a deer prancing by! She stopped dead in her tracks and looked up at me. Yes! She saw me from standing in the back yard looking up THROUGH my kitchen window. I don't know how she even noticed me (they must have some pretty amazing hearing).

I then finished getting ready for work and decided to try adding a few drops of vanilla to my coffee in addition to milk and a sprinkle of sugar... I thought it would taste really good - but I honestly don't notice a difference. I am a little bummed. Maybe I should try the rum flavoring I have?

Ok, that is all of my ramblings for now!

Tee hee hee...

Tree

Well, the tree is still in the backyard. A bunch of it went to the dump (little twigs & leaves) and some of it is cut and stacked along the back fenceline, but some big parts are still scattered about.

Saturday turned out really nice. Frank loaded up his dad's truck 3 times and we took the brush to the dump. Only 15 dollars to get rid of it all. One guy wanted $600 to take down the tree and dispose of the brush and small branches. The person we went with only wanted $280 to take the tree down but didn't do any disposal. We got rid of the same stuff for only $15. The big parts would have been left behind by both guys.

Sunday Frank went mountain biking with the neighbor across the street and then Jay came over with his chainsaw. Unfortunately both Frank's and Jay's chains were dull. They got through the small stuff, but couldn't get through it all. The local hardware stores had a replacement for Frank, but not for Jay. So, Jay was done for the day, but it was very cool of him to come by. Frank worked on some more tree and stacked what was cut. Frank's folks came over for a short visit, and I did house chores too.

I'm glad you guys had fun at the Pub Run. What happened at Rachael's? I broke down and logged back into Facebook. She mentioned stitches....

Pub Run Pics

First - we all warmed up with a light Yuengling.

Amy gave Logan a squeeze before we headed out.

This was our before picture!

This would be our after picture... I am pretty sure that I came in dead last. Oh well!

Nice picture of Eric and Theresa.

This is Cute Couple Number One.

And here is Cute Couple Number Two!

Weekend

So, interesting weekend. eric, Me, Sherri, Glenn, and Theresa all survived the pub run in one way or another :)

Yesterday, I nursed my hangover which wasn't too, too bad, and then went to see Wolverine. Very good movie. Hugh jackman = Tasty. As is Ryan Reynolds...though not so much at the end.

I Tivo'd X-men 3 because i've never seen that and will watch it tonight after i get some laundry and picking up done.

Jeannine, how was your weekend playing in the yard with trees?

I look at my condo and wonder when I'm EVER going to find the time and $ to work on it. After the wedding??? I guess??? I don't think I Can wait that long!

Okay, back to work. Talk soon!

Messing Around with Color and Font

I was playing around with the colors and the fonts on here... trying to get them just right! Actually, I am going to spend some time at home getting this blog layed out nice and I want to get some pictures of us along the bottom... I KNOW there has to be a way to get them side by side along the bottom.

Anywho... This has been such a long week and I am so glad it is finally Friday! I am both excited and nervous about the Pub Run tomorrow. (I am SO out of practice with both running and beer chugging!) I have to remember to bring my camera!!

Techno-addict

I love technology and the web. This is so cool. I love that we will now have our own little message board. (anyone remember those?) Great idea, Sher.

I had a great time at coffee last night. Thanks to you all for letting me blab so much. I had a good visit with the Doc, and am so looking forward to the weekend. We are doing tree cleanup and dump runs! Woo! Jay may come over on Sunday to play with his chainsaw and help us stack up the tree bits we are saving.

-- Jeannine

Yay!

Heading over to Connie's tonight for a beverage and to play with babies, yay!

Can't wait.

I have menstrual-related vertigo. It sucks.

Hope everyone enjoys the blog...I'm definitely going to stay tuned in.

ta- ta for now.