Yay!!

I hope you guys aren't sick of hearing about my work out escapades! I can't help it! I am trying to stay motivated and writing stuff out has been helping...

The other thing that is helping... I had a meeting with the trainer at the gym. I haven't lost any lbs., but she measured me and I have lost THREE inches off my waist, 1/2 inch off each: arm, hips and calves, and 1/4 inch off my thighs! WHOO HOO!! I have lost 0.2% body fat - hardly anything, but she said that was expected since I haven't actually lost any lbs. (And I am at least going in the right direction!)

I spoke with her about how my downfall is eating. And how I was bummed there is no nutritionist at The Hartford anymore = and she said I could meet with her on a regular basis to go over nutrition. I can not tell you how happy I was to hear that. I have been thinking about looking into whether insurance would cover visits to a nutirionist. It isn't so much that I don't know: Snickers = not nutritious, green beans = nutritious. But what I need is feedback and someone to be accountable to.

So yeah = I am feeling good! I am going to be able to carry this positive attitude through Thanksgiving. I always do OK with Thanksgiving dinner... but then the desseerts come out and I eat like I am in an eating competition. This year I will pick one favorite and have a small portion. I mean - really... Do I NEED ice cream? I don't even care for ice cream that much... and it is so COMMON... I can get it and have it any time of the year. Now... if Shawn's mom makes some Lemon Meringue Pie... That is a different story.

Priorities

I weighed myself... it is the same. I mean the SAME as 6 weeks ago.

I think it is time to make a decision. Do I want to eat the cupcakes and snickers or do I want to wear skinny pants and cute tops?

Yeah... I can eat cupcakes another day. Today I want skinny pants.

To Do List:
- No more cupcakes or Snickers - in fact, I am banning myself from Karen's candy jar effective immediately.
- Strength training AT LEAST twice a week (three would be best!) no matter what
- Veggies EVERY day
- NO snacking in the evening (I do not need that whole bag of microwavable popcorn... the carbs, the salt) If I do want to snack, I think I am going to keep some raw broccolli on hand with some of that fat free dip I made with that nasty FF cottage cheese that came out really tastey.

Oh crap! Look at the time - I have to go to the gym.

Crap in = Crap out

I have been a little discouraged for the last week or so. Yeah, I HAD been feeling great, but then I started feeling NOT great. I screwed up my BCP's. Then I screwed up the supplement that I have been taking that is supposed to help my mood. So I did a lot of running, alone, on the treadmill last week (instead of taking classes).

Then over the weekend, I proceeded to eat crap, drink crap, eat more crap... leaving me to FEEL like crap while trying to work out today. My face was red, my throat was dry, my lips are chapped. I wanted to die... well, not really, I just wanted to lay down and take a nap on the gym floor.

But anyways.... I am going to re-hydrate. I am going to keep working out. I am still going to eat crap on occassion, but I am going to TRY to limit it to ONE meal of crap per week. And I am just going to try to squeeze in more veggies everyday.

WHY does it require so much effort to feel good? I mean the work that goes into feeling good is definitely easier than sitting around feeling like a fat piece of crap... but still... sometimes I wish that JUST ONE thing, on occassion, could just be a little bit easy.

OK... back to my gala apple and Non-Fat Greek yogurt.

Hormones

The hormones are definately kicking in. I haven't really had PMS since going on the pill. Real PMS. The kind where you want to literally shoot daggers out of your eyes and slay people. Boy does this feel shitty. I got irrationally pissed off at a hair tye. A hair tye! I feel so sorry for Frank right now. I am not going to be fun for the next 4 days.

Inspired

I had a phyiscal a month ago. I had my yearly this morning. Both docs advised me to start exercising and drop weight. (Also, btw, I am not as tall as I thought I was. Am I shrinking already or do I have a permanent computer hunch?) So I really need to do something. I need to get inspired. Only issue, how do I do that?

I really liked the nights we met at school tracks and ran/walked because it combined social gabbing with exercise, but that's really hard to do with everyone's schedules and how dark it gets early now. Maybe I should look into joining a running group. Maybe I just need to get off the couch and stop finding reasons to stay put.

So, I am stopping drinking soda (again). For real this time. I am stopping my DD or BK breakfast sandwich addiction. (more $$ in my pocket!) I am going to set the alarm earlier, though I think that may be the first thing to fail. I am going to try to walk around the neighborhood every night. And if I do fail, I promise to start back up again and not just give up.

From my Cubie to my Car

Just sitting here thinking about how far I have to walk to get to my car (in the dark) is exhausting me. Lol! Here is my journey from my warm cozy cubicle to my cold car:

I walk from my cubicle, down the hall to the elevator.
I ride the elevator to the Lower Lobby.
I walk through the Lobby.
I walk past the auditorium and through the funny tunnel.
Say good night as I pass that nice man.
I walk past the cafeteria.
I go through the doorway and walk up a large flight of stairs.
I go out the entrance and down the sidewalk (past the visitor's parking lot).
I cross the street.
I walk past another building/parking lot.
I cross another street.
I then FINALLY arrive safely at my car in the parking lot to start my car and race home as fast as possible.

;o)

Sh!t or get off the pot... Then go weigh yourself

For THREE WEEKS I have been eating better (not perfect every second, but I eat veggies everyday, cook dinner in the evenings, etc.) and I have been working out (at LEAST 4 times a week, but I am trying to do 5 or 6). And how much have a lost in those three weeks... ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. That scale is set at it's number and it is sticking with it. I mean, down to the .6 of a lb. I mean come on- things going in... things coming out... time of the month... my weight should fluctuate from day to day at least a BIT.

Nope. Nothing. NADA. Zilch.

But... then I start to think... So what? I mean, really - am I discouraged? One might think I should be, but I am not. Why you wonder? Because I FEEL good. I hardly ever get heartburn any more. I feel strong. My moods have leveled out. AND I am saving money by not buying crap on the weekends for "Fat Sunday".

Even if I never lose a single tenth of a pound, I FEEL GOOD and THAT is what matters the most.

I love my friends

This is just a love note to you girls. I had a wonderful time at Connie's house with you on Saturday night. I am not a great caller or emailer, often just doing my own thing, and after too many weekends like that I start to feel so distant from you guys. This past weekend was a great reminder of why I like hanging out with you, and how we are still in touch with each other even when we are all too busy to hang out all the time.

PS. Sarah, I'd love to hang out with you soon, hear about work & Daisy & the new house.